With the events of the past week, I have found myself thinking a lot about my dad. When the prayer chain was activated last week, I found myself praying for Julaine's kids. They are all about my age. Some older, one younger.
I remember the times of flying out to see my dad after he started to get sick. Hospital visits are strange. While going through rigorous treatments in June, I saw my dad trying to stay hopeful. How can you not. That is the reason you are there. To try and beat cancer. When we vacationed in England in September, Dad was so weak, but still wanted to see us live a part of a fulfilled dream that he hiked and walked and toured around with us. By October, he was a mere skeleton. He could barely walk the stairs. But he still smiled. Still joked around. Still held Calla as much as possible. Still had hope. I remember this departure being the hardest for me, because I did not know that I would see him again on this earth. I did. I was flown out one last time, to see Dad in the hospital. He was writhing in pain. He was barely alert due to medications. But, again, he still smiled when we came in. Struggled to relay to us all he was feeling inside. It is one of the hardest memories for me. You want to remeber him as a vibrant man, full of life. And that is what I try to do But I still see him lying in that bed, with tears on his face, as he tried to say "I love you" one last time.
To lose a parent is a trial that is always borne. You never truly get over the sorrow. God's comfort is more than able. I am thankful for the presence of the Lord in this trial. To think of trying to go through this loss without His comfort is unfathomable. His grace allowed me to build a relationship with my dad in the last few years of his life that I will forever hold dear. I thank God for my dad and for the time I was able to spend with him.
This is a picture of Dad with Calla in October of 2003.
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