Our tree...

We went to pick out a Christmas tree on Saturday. We like to buy from a local guy who grows trees out in his back acreage. This year we were able to choose one and have it cut down. That was a first for me. So much fun. It was very cold, but the joy of the season was worth every second. There are a few things I like in "our tree." The shape has to be very full at the bottom. I like short needles. They hold the ornaments better. Not too bare, but at least one bare spot. It has to be realistic. And it has to be about 7 feet tall. Well. Calla picked from a few choices and she decided on this tree. It looks so great in the living room. We decorated well into bedtime. I love Christmas - even with all it's trappings. There is nothing else that compares to the fresh smell of pine when you walk downstairs first thing in the morning.

Let the choas begin...

I feel like I have so much time before Christmas to make all those handmade gifts. As soon as Thanksgiving rolls around, I feel my head start to spin. So many things I want to get done. Not nearly enough time to do them all. I am pretty adament that I give a gift that I know the person would want. I don't buy just any old thing I find on sale. This is both a blessing and a curse. I love watching people open my gifts. I love seeing their faces. But I hate feeling "too busy." I get overwhelmed fairly easy. I am definitely NOT a multitasker. I own up to that. A person has to know their limitations. Now if only I could set my limitations in the gift department...

"For the Lord shall be my confidence..."

This is a hard one to write. Long days with the girls are nothing compared to the trial the Lord is now allowing me to go through. Bear with me as I ramble my emotions and dealings of the past week and a half.
Cory and I want more children. We believe this is the Lord's will for us. Our hearts are ready for another little one. I found out in July that we were expecting, only to realize I was miscarrying that child. It was quick and physically painless. We waited on the Lord's timing and in September were already pregnant again! We were ecstatic! We wasted no time in relaying the wonderful news to family and close friends here. Mom, of course, knew, too. I went in for my first checkup. Almost 9 weeks along. Paperwork. Bloodwork. And then the nurse asked if I wanted to do an ultrasound. Sure. She assured me it was just for fun. No problems.
Well. No fun. Big problem.
I am developing a normal pregnancy, but I have no baby in my womb. Pure sadness entered me as one I have never felt before. I was totally unprepared. Even in the despair I was feeling, the Comforter was giving me silent strength. Verses. Promises. Songs. God is good.
I had to make the 20 minute drive home to tell Cory the shocking news. We spent the next few hours trying to wrap our heads around our new circumstances. The doctor had left me with a glimmer of hope that he was wrong and we were just too early to see things. That is where my faith rested until yesterday.
I went in for another ultrasound. Still nothing. However, my pregnancy is still advancing. I am over 10 weeks, and the risks are getting higher. I felt an emptyness yesterday. It was undescribable. But slowly, the Lord is filling me with the knowledge of His goodness. His ways are not our ways. He will not give to us above that which we are able to bear. "Be not afraid of sudden fear... when it cometh, For the Lord shall be thy confidence and shall keep thy foot from being taken." Proverbs 3:25, 26
"The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer: my God, my strength, in whom I will trust..." Psalm 18:2a
I do not attept to say that this is easy or that I am at a place where I do not cry. I weep. But I do know that trials are sent to make us grow. I am growing. It is a continual process. But I am sure God will bring me through. He is my confidence!

This is my life...

I live with two Tasmanian Devils. Little tornadoes in human children bodies! They can destroy any room in their path. I woke up with a head cold today and was in need of a little r&r. Good luck, mother of two! While "relaxing" in my room, the storm hit. 20 minutes of natural disaster. I knew something was awry when I heard the girls jumping off the bed. I awoke to see every imaginable basket or shelf or toy emptied on the floor. No more rest! It's clean up time. No sooner do I plan to get in the shower, then the forecast shows another storm brewing! After my shower I went downstairs to find Amelia in the bathroom with an empty roll of t.p., a toilet full of t.p., wet hands and an extremely wet floor. I also noticed red blotches on her face and hands. Ah! That would be the inkpad on the kitchen counter that is now on the kitchen floor along with several other not-so-out-of-reach items. This is my life.